- Johnny: "Moira, I just got an alert, that someone has posted a terrible review of this motel."
- Moira: "Oh no, John! Well dear, if I've learned anything from the theater, it's whatever they say, you cannot take it personally."
- Johnny: "Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is not about me. "I was served by an intimidating woman at the front desk, with an unrecognizable accent, and scary-looking attire.""
- ―Johnny and Moira Rose[src]
"Motel Review" is the eighth episode in the third season of Schitt's Creek. It is the thirty-fourth episode overall.
While Johnny is off running an errand, Stevie, as per Johnny's instructions, enlists the help of a reluctant Moira to man the front desk during a particularly busy time. Moira is of little help when someone wants to check in, she sloughing off this guest's many requests. Johnny ultimately discovers that Moira's encounter with this guest may have a negative impact on the motel itself. As such, Moira, who is not good at such tasks, has to make amends meaningfully with the guest. Meanwhile, Alexis is accused by Jocelyn of plagiarizing her economics essay. Looking at what she submitted, Alexis cannot argue with Jocelyn's claim, Jocelyn who is giving Alexis a second chance at submitting an original essay. What happened is that without Alexis' knowledge, Johnny rewrote her essay in his effort to help his daughter, something he believes he didn't do her first time around as a student. What may be more problematic for Johnny than trying to help Alexis again as she rewrites her essay is the fact that Jocelyn said the original essay was not that good. And David has to go through the process to get his business incorporated. In dealing with Ray's employee Patrick who handles such incorporation matters, David begins to have doubts about his business plan solely because he can't articulate his thoughts to Patrick, although they are, or at least were crystal clear and perfect in his own mind.
- Eugene Levy as Johnny Rose
- Catherine O'Hara as Moira Rose
- Daniel Levy as David Rose
- Annie Murphy as Alexis Rose
- Jennifer Robertson as Jocelyn Schitt
- Emily Hampshire as Stevie Budd
- Bonnie Siu as Theresa
- Alexander Wong as Photo Subject
- Chris Elliott is credited but does not appear.