- Patrick: "Like how many people are we talking about?"
- David: "Uh, I don't know. Twyla's whole family. So, like, 75?"
- ―Patrick Brewer and David Rose[src]
The Sands family is the large family of Twyla Sands and full of many strange and eccentric members, all residing in or around the town of Schitt's Creek.
During the course of the series, Twyla mentions many of her crazy relatives, so much it has become a running gag on the show.
Known family members[]
- Twyla Sands — Twyla is the owner and waitress at the Café Tropical. She is the only member of the family who appears on-screen.
- Twyla's mother — This unnamed woman is the mother of Twyla Sands, who she thinks half the time is her cousin, Angela. It is also known that she has been engaged to two pizza delivery guys and is a member of the Elevation cult.
- Twyla's father — This unnamed man is the incarcerated father of Twyla. It is known that he toured with Fleetwood Mac before they hit him with a restraining order; "When in doubt, say it with a song" was the last thing Mick Fleetwood told him.
- Twyla's second cousin in Elmdale — This unnamed cousin of Twyla lives in Elmdale and did telemarketing, making a ton of money, but lost everything due to his business being illegal. It is mentioned that he went to prison, but is learning Spanish.
- Twyla's aunt — This unnamed aunt of Twyla apparently has a ghost in her house who leaves dimes everywhere.
- Cousin of Twyla — This unnamed cousin of Twyla was in Riverdance, that is until she was trampled.
- Twyla's other aunt — This unnamed aunt used to play a game with Twyla in which there is good news and bad news, but the bad news is that there is no good news.
- Another aunt of Twyla — This aunt previously dated Artie Camden.
- Twyla’s grandfather — This man gave his large collection of hospital bracelets to his granddaughter, Twyla.
- Twyla’s stepbrother — Previously had dog-tags now in the possession of Alexis Rose.
- Twyla's uncle — This uncle owned a parrot who would always ask for Twyla to take her bra off.
- Ken — Ken is another uncle of Twyla's who has three fingers and is deaf, but speaks through sign-language.
- Angela — A cousin of Twyla's mother. Twyla is mistaken to be her half the time by her mother.
- Teresa — A cousin of Twyla's who shares her name with Mother Teresa.