- Patrick: "It's a cookie, David, what's the big deal?"
- David: "First of all, a cookie is always a big deal, especially when that cookie just alerted my entire family to the fact that this is officially the longest relationship I've ever had."
- Patrick: "This is the longest relationship you've ever had? Oh, I shoulda got you more than a cookie."
- ―Patrick Brewer and David Rose[src]
A gift arriving at the motel via the front desk alerts Johnny, Moira, Alexis, and Stevie to the fact that it is David and Patrick's four month anniversary, also the longest relationship David has ever had. To celebrate, Johnny, on Roland having found an old grill on the motel property, wants to invite Patrick over for a barbecue. David not only has no intention of even asking Patrick, but wants him to have nothing to do with his family. David's hesitance is in large part wanting to live within his own historic comfort zone of always consciously or unconsciously sabotaging his relationships in not being able to trust anyone. But Patrick does find out about the invitation, which he happily accepts. The barbecue doesn't end up the way Johnny or Patrick envisioned, as the latter's expectation is shattered with the arrival of an unexpected last minute invitee. Meanwhile, Alexis, not having heard from Ted in quite a while, receives a random text from him. With David unavailable, Alexis ends up turning to town newcomer Rachel, a young guest at the motel, for advice about what the text means. And Rachel is going through her own seemingly never-ending cycle of love and heartbreak with someone she's known for quite a while as well.
- Eugene Levy as Johnny Rose
- Catherine O'Hara as Moira Rose
- Daniel Levy as David Rose
- Annie Murphy as Alexis Rose
- Jennifer Robertson as Jocelyn Schitt
- Emily Hampshire as Stevie Budd
- Dustin Milligan as Ted Mullens
- Noah Reid as Patrick Brewer
- Chris Elliott as Roland Schitt
- Stacey Farber as Rachel