"The Roast" is the twelfth episode in the fifth season of Schitt's Creek. It is the sixty-fourth episode overall.
With Moira, in directing Cabaret, not understanding the limitations of amateurs, Patrick and Stevie, unable to nail a Moira-choreographed dance number, have had to resort to taking private dance lessons, which, if she found out, Moira would consider it a betrayal to her. As such, a less than happy David has been tasked with keeping Moira preoccupied whenever Patrick and Stevie are having their dance lessons, which may be more difficult for what is Patrick and Stevie's final lesson. With Moira preoccupied with the show, she is unable to be one of the roasters at the annual Mayor's Roast, about which Roland is dismayed as he always appreciates Moira's zingers aimed at him. Johnny volunteers to fill in for Moira, he who has to find the right balance of being funny without going over the line. As opposed to being over the line, he is as far away from the line as he could get as a starting point. And Ted has been accepted into a prestigious research program in the Galapagos Islands for six months. As the Galapagos are not exactly Alexis' cup of tea, she and Ted have to figure out what to do about the opportunity and their relationship.
- Eugene Levy as Johnny Rose
- Catherine O'Hara as Moira Rose
- Dan Levy as David Rose
- Annie Murphy as Alexis Rose
- Emily Hampshire as Stevie Budd
- Jennifer Robertson as Jocelyn Schitt
- Dustin Milligan as Ted Mullens
- Noah Reid as Patrick Brewer
- Sarah Levy as Twyla Sands
- Chris Elliott as Roland Schitt
- Marilyn Bellfontaine as Gwen Currie
- Nicholas Anderson Tull as Derek
- Aaron Jensen as Accompanist